People rarely go through significant change. Even if you want to change, it’s hard to recognize when you’re making biased decisions (spoiler: all of our decisions are biased).
I’m in the middle of reading Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman, and it’s outstanding. He talks about ‘system 1’ and ‘system 2’ where the former is where you think fast, and the latter is where you think slowly. (It’s way more complicated than that. Go read the book.)
Getting past system 1 is not easy. All of our associations, assumptions, and beliefs are already baked in. Our brain makes life easier by making decisions for us, before we even recognize we have a decision to make. If it didn’t do this for us, we would be debilitated before getting out of bed in the morning.
If you really want to make sound decisions, you have to work at it. The first step is to be aware of what your mind is doing. It sounds simple, but it’s actually the hardest part.
Once you start noticing how you make decisions, you can pause for a moment in order to move those system 1 decisions into system 2. If you can get good at step one, step two is almost guaranteed.
Spend some time noticing your thoughts.